Not all conflict is loud - Managing subtle undermining at work

In healthcare, we often talk about teamwork, trust and open communication as the foundations of safe, high-quality care. Most of the time, that’s exactly what we strive for. But sometimes, there can be behaviours that quietly undermine these values without being obvious — something often referred to as “whiteanting.”

The term comes from the idea of termites slowly hollowing out wood from the inside. In a workplace, it can look like subtle undermining of a colleague, team, or decision — not through open disagreement, but through small, repeated actions that weaken trust or confidence over time.

It’s important to acknowledge that not all questioning or feedback is negative. In nursing and midwifery, speaking up is essential for patient safety. Raising concerns, offering different perspectives, and advocating for better care are all positive and necessary. The difference lies in intent and approach. When communication becomes indirect, selective, or aimed at diminishing others rather than improving outcomes, it can start to have a harmful impact.

Because these behaviours are often subtle, they can be hard to name or address. You might notice things like:

• Feeling undermined or second-guessed, but not being able to point to a single clear incident
• Information not being shared openly or consistently
• Conversations happening “around” you rather than with you
• A gradual loss of confidence or sense of psychological safety at work

Over time, this can leave nurses and midwives feeling unsettled, unsupported, or even questioning their own perceptions. In busy clinical environments, that added stress can contribute to fatigue, reduced confidence, and disconnection from the team.

Perhaps most importantly, these dynamics can affect trust. And in healthcare, trust is everything — within teams and with our patients. When trust starts to erode, collaboration becomes harder, communication can break down, and the overall work environment can feel less safe.

Practical ways to manage and respond

If you’re experiencing or noticing these behaviours, there are some supportive, constructive steps you can take:

1. Stay grounded in your purpose
Focus on what matters most — safe, compassionate patient care. Keeping this at the centre can help guide how you respond and communicate.

2. Address things early and directly (when safe to do so)
If something doesn’t feel right, consider a calm, respectful conversation:

• “I’ve noticed some confusion around this — can we clarify together?”
• “I felt a bit undermined in that situation — can we talk it through?”
  Often, bringing things into the open can reduce misunderstanding and prevent escalation.

3. Document patterns, not just incidents
If behaviours are ongoing, keep brief, factual notes of what’s happening. This can be helpful if you need to seek support or escalate concerns.

4. Seek support and don’t carry it alone
Talk with a trusted colleague, educator, NUM, or mentor. Gaining perspective can help you feel validated and clearer about next steps.

5. Use formal supports if needed
If the behaviour continues or impacts your wellbeing or work, consider accessing workplace supports such as:

• Clinical leadership or management
• HR or professional practice units
• Employee Assistance Programs (EAP)

6. Protect your wellbeing
Experiencing subtle workplace tension can be draining. Prioritise rest, debriefing, and activities outside of work that help you recharge.

7. Model the culture you want to see
Consistent, respectful, transparent communication makes a difference. By sharing information openly, giving constructive feedback, and supporting colleagues, you contribute to a stronger, safer team environment.

Creating healthy workplace cultures in healthcare isn’t just about avoiding conflict — it’s about fostering openness, respect, and trust, even when things are challenging. By recognising subtle dynamics and responding with clarity and professionalism, nurses and midwives can help ensure their workplaces remain supportive, collaborative, and focused on what matters most: delivering safe, high-quality care.