Family violence

If you are a nurse, midwife or student and are experiencing family violence, arm yourself with an understanding of practical steps you can take, workplace rights, and resources so you can seek support safely and with confidence.

Family violence is never acceptable, and it is not your fault. As a nurse or midwife, you dedicate your time and energy to caring for others... you also deserve care, respect, and safety in your own life. 

Recognising family violence

Family violence is a pattern of behaviour that is used to control, dominate, or cause fear. It is not limited to physical harm.

Forms of family violence include:

• Physical abuse – hitting, choking, restraining, or using weapons
• Sexual abuse – unwanted sexual activity, coercion, or assault
• Emotional or psychological abuse – threats, constant criticism, manipulation, humiliation
• Financial abuse – taking control of your earnings, restricting access to money, forcing debt
• Social abuse – isolating you from friends, colleagues, or family
• Spiritual or cultural abuse – ridiculing your beliefs, restricting cultural practices, or using culture to control
• Technology-facilitated abuse – stalking through devices, monitoring messages, threats online

If you feel unsafe, controlled, or fearful in a relationship, it is family violence—even if there has never been physical harm.

Dealing with it – our unique challenges

Nurses and midwives may face particular barriers when dealing with family violence. Because you are in caring role, you may feel guilty putting your needs ahead of others. Shift work and long or irregular hours can make accessing services difficult.

You may feel concerned about confidentiality and worry about colleagues or patients finding out.

Experiencing family violence can affect your professional identity – it can be hard to admit vulnerability when your role is to care for others.

The impact of stress, trauma, or exhaustion may affect concentration, attendance, or decision-making at work.

Acknowledging these challenges is an important step toward seeking support.

Taking steps to keep safe

Prioritise your safety

If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

Have a safety plan. Safe Steps (Victoria) – "My Safety Plan" 

Reach out for support

Talk to someone you trust – a colleague, friend, family member, or mentor or contact specialist support services.

National and Victorian Support Services

• 1800RESPECT – 24/7 counselling, support & referrals for sexual assault, domestic and family violence, phone 1800 737 732

• Lifeline – 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention, phone 13 11 14

• MensLine Australia – Support for men experiencing or using violence, phone 1300 789 978

• Relationships Australia – Counselling and family support

• Our Watch – Preventing violence against women children

• White Ribbon Australia – Education and awareness

Victoria

• Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre (1800 015 188 – 24/7 crisis support and accommodation for women and children)
• The Orange Door (free family violence and child wellbeing support)

Know your workplace rights

In Australia, you may be entitled to:

• Family and domestic violence Leave – up to 10 days per year (for full-time, part-time, and casual employees).
• Flexible work arrangements – changes to hours, shifts, or location for safety reasons.
• Confidential support – workplaces must protect your privacy.
• Union support – professional associations and unions can provide advocacy and advice.

Check your hospital, health service, or organisation’s policies for more detail.

Look after yourself

Experiencing family violence can be exhausting and traumatic. Recovery takes time. It helps to stay connected with people who support you, as isolation makes things harder.

Try to get adequate sleep, hydration, and nutrition – they are important for resilience. To help calm your body and mind, try grounding techniques like breathing exercises, journaling, or walking in nature.

Seek professional help such as trauma counselling and peer support. These can make a significant difference.

Remember: none of this is your fault. You deserve to feel safe and supported.