Working with difficult colleagues
The emotional reality of difficult workplace relationships
Nursing and midwifery can be incredibly rewarding, but like any busy healthcare environment, working with difficult colleagues can sometimes be one of the hardest parts of the job. Often, it is not the clinical work itself that feels most stressful, but the tension that can come from challenging interactions, poor communication, or personality differences within a team.
A dismissive comment during a shift, ongoing negativity, or feeling unsupported can slowly build stress and anxiety over time, especially in already demanding workplaces. While you cannot control another person’s behaviour, you can control how you respond and how you protect your own wellbeing.
One of the most helpful things you can do is acknowledge what you are feeling instead of ignoring it. Feeling frustrated, upset, anxious, or drained after a difficult interaction is a very normal response. Naming those emotions can help reduce their intensity and allow you to think more clearly and calmly.
You can't control others, but you can control your response
It is also important to remember that another person’s behaviour is not a reflection of your value or competence as a nurse or midwife. Difficult behaviour often says more about the other person’s stress, communication style, or workload than it does about you.
Establish boundaries
Clear boundaries around communication, responsibilities, and expectations can also reduce workplace friction. In some situations, limiting unnecessary interaction while remaining polite and professional is the healthiest approach.
Creating healthy mental boundaries can also make a big difference. Not every negative comment or tense interaction deserves space in your mind after your shift ends. When emotions rise during a busy day, even slowing your breathing for a few moments can help calm your nervous system and prevent you from reacting in ways you may later regret.
Leave work stress behind after your shift
After difficult shifts, having a simple routine to help you mentally switch off from work can be protective. This might be going for a walk, debriefing with a trusted colleague, listening to music on the drive home, or writing down your thoughts before moving into the rest of your evening.
Take practical steps to protect yourself
Alongside managing your own emotional response, there are also practical steps that can help. If difficult behaviour becomes ongoing, keeping clear notes about patterns or incidents can help you stay objective and support you if the issue ever needs to be escalated formally.
Sometimes, a calm and respectful conversation can improve misunderstandings before they grow into larger problems. Focusing on specific behaviours and how they affect patient care, communication, or workflow is often more productive than making personal criticisms.
Clear boundaries around communication, responsibilities, and expectations can also reduce workplace friction. In some situations, limiting unnecessary interaction while remaining polite and professional is the healthiest approach.
Reach out for support when you need it
Most importantly, you do not have to manage ongoing workplace stress alone. Speaking with a manager, educator, mentor, trusted colleague, union representative, or employee support service can provide guidance, reassurance, and practical strategies.
Difficult colleagues are something most nurses and midwives will encounter at some point in their careers. Protecting your wellbeing, maintaining professionalism, and seeking support early are important parts of building resilience and sustaining a long and healthy career in healthcare.